Arsenal plot ambitious £69m midfielder raid as Newcastle and Tottenham enter bargain striker tussle

Boy howdy, do we have some whoppers for you today. The weekend is nearly upon us, and in the spirit of anticipated revelry, it would appear that Friday’s transfer rumours have decided to take a long lunch, slam through a few margaritas at a local Mexican chain restaurant, and return to their desk in the mood for chaotic hijinks.

If this speculation had a spirit animal it would be a silly goose, if it was a type of garden pathway it would be crazy paving. It has no regard for your precious logic or petty reason, and instead is counting down the minutes to home time when it can stumble, tipsy and garrulous, back to happy hour at Chiquito. Whether it ever gets there, or whether it instead doses off for a snooze in the break room, who can say?

Arsenal eye Tchouameni

Let’s start with a proper humdinger. According to Football Transfers, Arsenal are interested in signing Real Madrid midfielder Aurelien Tchouameni this summer, presumably in much the same way that I am interested in becoming the crown prince of Monaco. It’s nice to have dreams, but some are more far-fetched than others.

The Gunners are closing in on a deal for Declan Rice (it wouldn’t be a rumours round-up without him getting a mention somewhere) but could still want another midfielder besides, and in the event of Mikel Arteta’s men missing out on the likes of Moises Caicedo and Romeo Lavia, they could test Real’s resolve with a bid for the £69 million-rated Frenchman.

If there is a glimmer of hope, it’s that Florentino Perez might consider a sale to help him fund a swoop for a certain Kylian Mbappe. ‘Might’ being the operative word, of course.

The 3AM Verdict: If Arsenal could sign Tchouameni alongside Declan Rice, Kai Havertz, and Jurrien Timber this summer, they would surely be shoehorned into the conversation surrounding the most impressive spending sprees of recent times. Something about this one feels a little too ambitious though. Already their transfer kitty is being stretched, and even if Real do decide to sell, there is no guarantee that the Gunners would be able to afford a transfer in the coming weeks.

Toon consider Carrasco

Elsewhere, Mundo Deportivo suggest that Newcastle United are still interested in signing Belgian winger Yannick Carrasco from Atletico Madrid. The 29-year-old has been heavily linked with Barcelona in recent months, with the Catalan giants reportedly having agreed a deal to take him to Camp Nou as part of the negotiations that saw Memphis Depay move in the opposite direction back in January.

The deadline on that agreement is today, however, and with no indication that Barca will honour it, there is a strong likelihood that Carrasco could be available to buy this summer. Newcastle have been credited with an interest in him before, but now have the added lure of being able to offer the player Champions League football next season.

The 3AM Verdict: This could be a good deal for Newcastle, if they can pull it off. Carrasco is a player of obvious quality, and exactly the kind of signing who could help to elevate this Toon squad. A fee of around £16 million has been mentioned, which would represent an absolute steal, and there appears to be few, if any, downsides to pushing for an agreement in the coming weeks.

Jebbison in demand

And finally, Tottenham want to sign teenage Sheffield United striker Daniel Jebbison. And so do Aston Villa. And Everton. And Newcastle United too, now that you mention it. According to 90min, the forward is attracting interest from all across the Premier League and Europe, with the likes of Juventus and Borussia Dortmund also monitoring his situation at Bramall Lane.

Said situation is thus; Jebbison’s contract runs out next year, and the Blades could be forced to offload him this summer instead of losing him on a free transfer in 12 months’ time. It is a tale as old as time itself.

The 3AM Verdict: While Jebbison is yet to show a genuinely prolific streak, there is no doubting that he is a player of real potential, and at 19, he still has years and years ahead of him to realise it. Whoever signs him this summer - assuming he does leave Bramall Lane - could be snapping up a really savvy investement for the future, as well as a bargain to boot.